A Runner's Ramblings

Happy New Year!

May life's simple pleasures - the joys of friendship, the comfort of family, a peaceful soul and healthy heart - enrich your days for 2010.

The Rise of Rudeness

Friday, October 9th was a weird day.  I woke up to the news of President Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize, which left me with a positive, hopeful feeling.  By the end of the day, sadness and disappointment had consumed my spirit.  Mean and nasty reactions ran amuck, from insipid news commentators to a handful of  “friends” in my facebook world, and most of the insolent comments were directed not at the Committee that honored our President, but at our President, as if he had applied for the prize, pursued it on his own - absolutely absurd!  I can't imagine what we - Americans - must look like through the eyes of the citizens of other countries.  So much hate and anger about what? Really?! WHAT?!? That in ten months our President hasn't fixed the colossal mess that he inherited? Death threats against Obama are up 400% over Bush.  Bush - the President who created the colossal mess!  Bush - the President who was on watch on 9/11!   Bush - the President who started a senseless war in Iraq where thousands of American lives have been lost!  Sigh.  It appears that many Americans have chosen to consciously consume “Haterade” in excessive quantities.

Uncivil, malicious behavior has infected our society like an epidemic.  It is most prevalent on television: from the inflammatory, cerebrally deficient propagandist, Glenn Beck and the ethically challenged FOX News that employs him, to the acerbic, cerebrally brilliant comedian/political commentator Bill Maher.  But it’s not just on t.v., incendiary emails spread like wildfire throughout the internet and malignancy inundates countless web sites, blogs and social networks. In my own facebook world, boorish behavior is on the rise and was the inspiration for my original October 9th essay which is the foundation for this piece.

In September I had deactivated my facebook account for three days.  My temporary removal from facebook was mostly motivated by someone who actually told me I might want to tone down my views….political views, specifically.  And this was said to me after I had just experienced the most heinous assault on my character, ever.  A cruel, nasty act committed by a vile subhuman whose sole intent was to hurt and defame me.  Sadly, this attack included innocent people, which only intensified my pain.  But that’s another story.  I only mention it because it serves as one of two perfect examples of the lack of civility and rise of maliciousness in just my world.  The second example was the "tone down" suggestion which took place while I was in the debilitating, emotionally low state of spirit and mind the subhuman caused.  A favorite quote of David’s is “timing makes champions”.   In this case, timing created no champion, au contraire, the timing of this suggestion was like a pound of salt in my wound. Would "kick 'em when they're down" be the antithesis quote for “timing makes champions”?

My facebook wall is like my home. Imagine coming into my home and telling me to tone down my views. Actually, the tone down comment was in my home!  Civility, respect, compassion and sensitivity are becoming ghosts of our culture, vague memories of a more considerate time.  Will future generations say, “Remember when....." or "What does respect mean?”

Facebook provides a different forum to express my interests/passions - from Rachel to politics to funny/sentimental videos. It allows a certain level of interaction that a blog doesn’t.  I am not intentionally trying to offend anyone, but my facebook wall is my home, my space, my utopia.  I don't have a million viewers or even thousands of readers. I have 166 friends and many are just names on my "friends list", people who rarely or never interact.  (Yeah, what's that about? Yet another post.)  Are all my posts and links of a pleasant and sweet nature?  No, and if they were, my friends (not "friends") would think my page had been hacked by a Disney princess.  But I also don't post blatant lies and hateful propaganda.  Are my opinions often caustic?  You betcha, but, again, it's my wall.  However, I won't be rude on someone else's wall and appreciate the same consideration.  For those who don’t like what I say or post, just select the "Hide" option, and voila, your News Feed becomes Leslie-free.  I use that option frequently; my “Hide” list is a long one.   Hiding people makes life less frustrating. The reality of facebook is it brings people into your virtual home that you might not necessarily invite into your real home. You know those people, they are the ones you're always happy to see and chat with briefly when you run into them at the grocery store or on the street. But there's an unspoken understanding that anything more than a friendly conversation in the produce section is not of interest to either of you. Or the friends you would invite into your home, even though you might have differing views on politics or religion but you avoid those topics because you genuinely like that person and don't want to jeopardize the friendship. The differences are respected - a noble concept.

At least once a month, permanently deactivating my facebook account enters my thoughts and is given serious consideration.  I really do enjoy the virtual socializing and love preaching to the choir, but the inflammatory polls, the vicious propaganda, the silly games, oy the games….not so much.  Thank goodness for the “Hide” and "Block Application" options!  With the right set of friends (as opposed to "friends") facebook could be an interesting forum for discussions involving opposing views, a true utopia.  But if the only source of news and information is FOX News for the friends with the opposing views, then any chance of a reasonable, astute discussion is slim to none! And I certainly don't want you coming over to my wall spewing forth Glenn Beck venom verbatim. Not in my house! (Yes, this is a good example of a caustic opinion.) Add the fact that the written word is too easily misunderstood, that humor can be lost and inflections unheard and you’ve got a recipe for a communication catastrophe.

Ah, the ambiguities of facebook, and there are many.  All that I ask of my facebook friends is that when I post something they find irritating, annoying or downright infuriating, and thus are compelled beyond reason to comment (which I have been guilty of myself), then please do so in a respectful, civil manner because my facebook wall is like a room in my house, my haven from hatred.  If each of us made a conscious effort to be a little more civil, and practice kindness and respect, just a little bit each day, who knows what could happen? Something positive, perhaps.